A BWWM, IR, ROMANCE.
So EXCITED to share with you my COVER and EXCERPT
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I crossed the damn line. I used her. I slept with her knowing it wasn’t going to lead anywhere, and the worst of it was, she never asked for anything in return.
Ellis McKenna could rationalize what happened between him and Haven for a lifetime. The bottom line—she gave of herself freely to keep him from drowning in pain because she was falling in love with him.
Love. It was such a foreign concept, Ellis couldn’t wrap his mind around it. Still, he had taken what she offered knowing he had nothing left to give in the emotions department. What little he had had died the moment his grandmother left this earth.
Ellis continued to stare out over the balcony unable to quiet his thoughts to the point that he voiced them aloud. “She didn’t deserve this.” Ellis was disgusted with himself. He ran a hand down his face. “I didn’t even wear a damn condom to protect her.”
He was grateful for the cold. He deserved the painful sting of the biting wind as it whipped around him. After almost an hour, Ellis still wasn’t quite ready to go back into the room where, only hours ago, he’d made love to Haven Shaw. So, there he stood, in the early morning, on the balcony allowing the icy white flakes to cover him.
Just like the mild winter storm, he was conflicted. Ellis closed his eyes. He could still smell Haven’s scent all over him. Her body had been an oasis, soft and firm in all the right places. Slowly, he inhaled, wanting to burn the memory of her in his mind forever. It was the only thing keeping him from succumbing to the depths of despair.
The woman who’d raised him like a son was gone. The pain of knowing he would never hear Bertha McKenna’s laugh or charming wit brought him lower than he’d ever been. It wasn’t lost on him that, when Ellis finally left the suite, he was going to go home to an empty house. At least, one where he was the only McKenna because he was literally the last McKenna now.
A small voice reminded him, you didn’t have to go home alone. You chose to push her away. That was another truth he couldn’t hide from.
When he’d completely lost the feeling in his hands and feet, Ellis finally turned to walk into the warmth of the suite.
He answered himself. “Yes, I pushed her away, and that was probably the biggest mistake of my life.” Ellis figured, at some point, he would have to deal with it, but for now, all he could manage was his next breath.
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Ellis didn’t want to lose the look he saw in her eyes only moments ago. He would do his damnedest not to. “I’m happy I had a small part in making you laugh. But, you know what? It’s still early, and you’re talking as if the nights over. It’s not. I’m confident I can give you plenty more to smile about.” Not only could he make her smile but moan too. He had no doubt about it.
Haven tilted her head to the side. “Really, now?” Her smile was back.
He stood and held out his hand. “Let me show you. Dance with me.”
She didn’t hesitate. However, as soon as Haven stood, she immediately knew that the wine had more of an effect on her than she had initially thought. Feeling a bit tipsy, it was probably a bad idea to do anything but go home. Instead of listening to her inner voice, she placed the tips of her fingers in Ellis’ hands and let him guide her out to the dance floor.
Haven had no choice but to stick close. It was loud, and people were squished together like sardines in a tin can. Still, the music was hypnotic, and as she got into the rhythm, Haven swayed her hips to the beat. Floating on a cloud couldn’t begin to describe her feelings of exhilaration and freedom.
Haven was also impressed at how well Ellis moved. Why she was surprised was beyond her considering he seemed to be a natural at everything. They were little more than a few inches apart, respectable given the amount of people who surrounded them, but that all changed when the song did.
His eyes were intense.
Haven’s eyes sparkled.
Ellis pulled her close. The mere contact from dancing made her body tingle. She had to remember that’s all it was—a dance.
Haven turned around so that she didn’t have to stare directly into his gaze and hers might reveal more than she’d been willing to acknowledge. She just needed a moment to get herself together.
Her back was to his front as she moved in tune with the pulsing beat. The touch of his hands on her body guaranteed the music probably wouldn’t be the only thing throbbing. Do not pass go, Haven, that’s dangerous territory. Who was she kidding? Haven had passed that imaginary threshold hours ago.
Ellis kept his hands on her hips while moving closer then closer until he put his body on hers. Once they connected, he began to grind against her. There was that vampire thing again. The lure to follow his lead.
She sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth. The push and pull of their bodies on the dance floor were more than a little sexual. It was food for her starving soul and body—simply delicious.
Ellis felt it too because it wasn’t long before a bulge began to form in his pants. Each time their bodies touched, Haven felt him swell until it was impossible to ignore the fact that he had a raging hard-on.
She guessed what they were doing could be considered dancing, but he was making her body sing a high note. Between the wine and the sexual chemistry, Haven was emboldened to push the boundaries a little further and decided to leave her inhibitions somewhere else. She upped the ante as she moved more aggressively to the rhythm and rolled her hips into him.
Haven raised her arms above her head before lowering one of them behind her and encircled it around his neck capturing his head in an embrace meant to keep him close. She leaned her own head backward exposing the soft side of her neck to him.
Ellis’ lips hovered just above her tender flesh while his hands traveled up her body until they came to the sides of her breasts. Haven’s nipples hardened, and she heated up a few more degrees. Her mind raced. She thought, touch me. Haven wanted to feel his hands on her. Her breath stopped when his thumbs came close but didn’t caress her insanely sensitive breasts the way she wanted.
His lips moved just above her ear. “Damn, you feel good.” Ellis wasn’t sure if she’d heard him.
She heard every word. “Then, touch me like you mean it.” With her free hand, Haven placed it on top of his and dragged it down to the tops of her thighs and just underneath her fringed dress to ensure he understood her meaning—if he wanted to explore a little further, Haven was game.
Ellis used his fingers to circle around the lace of her thigh-high stocking. No one could ever say he wasn’t a curious sort. After a brief hesitation, he slid his hands in between her thighs.
Haven bit down on her lip.
When he touched her sensitive flesh through her lace panty, she shivered all over and ground into him even harder. Haven wanted more. She gasped. “Yasssss."
Ellis continued to run his fingers up and down the center of her now swollen sex. His voice was rough. “Little girl, you have no idea what you’re asking for. You’re playing with fire. I’ll break you.”
Haven was tired of always being the good girl, the responsible one. Tonight, she wanted to play with a little fire. “Maybe I want to be broken.”